So this is the post I keep re-writing in my head. It still won't come out right but I need to try. It's about my faith in the Lord. The power of family and prayer and fasting.
I would like to tell a story about my sister Amy. She grew up with my dad Harold and my step mom Jeannine. She was a loved child. But most if not all of her life my dad was very sick. She didn't do a lot of things so she could be around to take care of my dad. I don't know how many times she came home from school to call 911 to save his life. She is an incredible woman who has been through incredible trials. About 6 years ago my dad passed away. I was on bedrest with Ellie so I wasn't able to attend the funeral or go to the hospital for one last good bye.
Since then I haven't been an amazing daughter or sister. By the time she was growing up I was married and we lived across the country from each other. I'm not saying it makes it okay, just explaining why. I could have done more. I haven't. Now, well I never quite know how to now. I'm more of a family acquaintance than a sister. There is no bad feelings, no great fight or any such thing, just a lax in priorities to get to know her. Many things factor in, one of the biggest is money. I can't afford to visit any of my family very often and the further away the harder it is. I could and should be better with mail and email. I will try. But to be honest with everyone...other than a Christmas card I pretty much suck at follow through. Again no good excuse just one of my issues with myself.
Well, one Sunday morning in the middle of my finding a lump and waiting for surgery I got a call from my big sister Monica. She has done so much better at keeping those connections where they should be. In fact she had just returned from visiting my sister and step mom. Anyway, this call was that my step mom Jeannine had ovarian cancer and it was bad....real bad. I wanted to do something. But what can I do? I talked it over with my sister and decided to ask Jeannine if she was okay with me sharing what was going on with family so we could do a family fast. She agreed and we started the communication. This was one of those situations I was super glad that all of my dad's siblings or their spouses use facebook. It was such an easy way to get a message to all of them at the same time quickly.
The love I immediately felt from those who I have not done well to keep in touch with was overwhelming. I may have my issues, and others have their faults just like I do...but I am loved and so is my family. Due to complications with my surgery I was not able to fast with everyone else. But, I felt such a unity with my family that I never see and rarely talk to. Many in the family shared similar feelings. I won't go into the specifics of everything but after the fast the doctors arranged surgery, in the surgery they found that it wasn't as bad as they thought. She had several organs removed and will have to go through several rounds of chemo. This will not be an easy road for her or any of us. But one thing I felt so strongly, was that it was the faith of my sister Amy, who is there doing what she can, taking care of her mom and took care of her dad that blessed my step mom so she could live through this. The feelings were so powerful that she had that kind of faith.
I need that kind of faith. I need to learn from her to have faith that these miracles will come about if we ask and have faith. It doesn't mean that always everything is okay. Bad things still happen, people still die. But I feel like through her faith Heavenly Father blessed her and we are all blessed because of it. I hope and pray that this will be a reminder to be a better sister, a better daughter, a better wife and mother. I want to be a better person than I am. I want to feel worthy to call a woman with such exceedingly great faith my sister and friend.
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