Our final Easter post!

 This is our final Easter post! Aren't you so excited to hear about something else in my life? It's not a bad family picture to just set the camera on the post and hit the button and then run to be in the picture with everyone. It doesn't show the skirts which is actually what ties all those crazy colors together, but it's us all together which is the most important part of Easter in my book.

I have already blogged about a lot of the Easter traditions and such things. This is about what Easter means to me. My kids always write those poems in school, simple but heartfelt. I have written a poem in years, but for some reason when I look at the word Easter this year every letter just seems to say something to me. This is what it says.
E is for Everyone
A is for All together
S is for Sacrament
T is for Testimony
E is for Eternal
R is for Redeemer

E is for Everyone, and A is for All together.  Obviously when they are said together it says what things mean for me.   I love the thought of all of us all together.  We live far from most of our family.  But I know through many ways there are things that bring us all together in different ways.  Phone calls, texts, facebooks and of course my blog.  Are all things that bring a closeness to my family and friends that we wouldn't have otherwise.  We get to go on vacations which usually always involve spending time visiting family and friends who we are not with all the time and bring us all together periodically.  When I think of family who lives closer but still not real close I am grateful for those things that give us reasons to see each other.  A trip down to help them move in, a holiday tradition, or a trip up to visit the temple.  All those things bring us all together.  When we think of the friends and such who do live close, it's the simpler things in life that brings everyone together, a baby shower, a wedding, an enrichment meeting, a birthday, a sporting event, a musical performance and so on.  But there are also the simpler things.  A friend whose having a bad day, the need of a hair cut, a dinner for someone or treats that need to not all be eaten by me, a kid who wants to learn something, a beautiful day for the park, and just time to visit with friends.  All those things bring everyone together in my life.  And all those things both big and small bind my family together and bind all of you to us.  And for that I am always so grateful when Everyone is All together.

S is for Sacrament.  This is one of my most treasured things in my life.  I made some mistakes in my youth...shocking I know. :)  But through that I had go through a period where I was not able to partake of the sacrament.  This time was one of the greatest blessings the Lord has ever given me in my life.  I learned how wonderful that blessing of being able to be washed clean of my sins every week truly is.  Becuase of that time I cherish that I can partake of the sacrament.  I then spent many pregancies where I was unable to attend church for the safety of my children and myself.  I learned the blessings of great young men who brought me the entire "sacrament meeting" to my home.  They would bring that wonderful blessing to me of partaking of the sacrament, but they would also tell me what they learned in the meetings.  Those moments are some of my cherished memories.  I watched those young men grow as they learned the importance of bringing me the sacrament.  I would hear quick explanations of some talks that they really didn't find interesting such as, "So and so spoke on raising your kids.  I really didn't listen much as it didn't apply to me..but I guess it does to you huh?  I don't really remember what they said, I'm sorry."  This same young man later in the pregnancy could tell me much about what was spoken on how to have a meaningful family home evening for your kids as he learned that he was there not just to learn for himself but wanted to share things that would be of importance to me.  I also loved the comments like, "I had a really hard time following so and so as he said umm 23 times"  and "I was suprised to see so and so cry, I mean he's a guy".  But again those same boys later would tear up as they shared something that really touched them or would get flustered and say um a lot as they wanted to share something with me that they didn't know quite how to.  Those boys are "my boys".  Two of "my boys" recently got married and another is about to come home from his mission.  I love that the desire to take the sacrament which gave me the strength to face another week on bedrest brought us all closer to each other and the Lord.  I love watching my sons pass the sacrament and look forward watching them as they grow to understand the importance of this sacred ordinance in new ways.

Tis for Testimony.  I have a testimony, and it guides me through my life.  I know that God lives, I know that he directs my life, I know that even when I can't explain in a way that is satisfactory to others why something I do I do in the way I do it, or believe in the way I believe it that it's okay, the Lord guides me and that is enough for me.  I know we have a living prophet who speaks to God today.  I am so grateful for that to help guide us in our lives. I know the Book of Mormon is the word of God and was translated by Jospeh Smith, a prophet of God.  I know the power of prayer and fasting and the priesthood.  I have watched my husband miraculously healed from a motorcycle accident, I have watched my Ellie struggle for her life in the NICU be healthy enough to return home the next day, I have watched Matthew struggle with studdering and with a prayer be able to get up and speak to a crowd without a studder at all.  I have watched Harrison as my nephew was lost and he said a prayer and moments later Harrison found him when no one else could.  I have Rachel with me today only through the power of the priesthood.  And I have known it so many times in my life in the large and the small things get through them through the power of prayer and fasting and priesthood blessings. 

E is for Eternal.  This is one of my favorites.  I know that my children both in these pictures and those who are no longer living will one day all be reunited.  I know that if I continue to live the way I should my life and my children will have an eternity together.  That knowledge is what gives me the strength to go on day after day without all my children alive.  Those who read this blog know our family story for the most part, but this is also my journal and things need to be written down.  I lost a son as a teenager.  I named him Kevin Michael.  He still such a part of me all these years later.  He would be leaving on a mission this year had he lived.  I had planned to give him up for adoption so he would have been in someone else's life had he lived, but he will always be my son and apart of my life.  I had several miscarrages throughout our married life.  Too many to count and think about often.  But aside from those there are a few others I would like to mention and individually remember when I think of my eternal family.  Next is Colby Scott.  But instead of preparing to recieve the priesthood, the power of God, he is with God.  The next one I think of often we never named.  Rachel was a twin.  Her twin died 6 months in utero.  I never realized how much that would be something as Rachel has gotten older that is so important to her.  She speaks about her twin that is with Jesus.  I love that she has that knowledge to help her at times when she wishes her twin was here.  Next is Emma Jane.  She was actually one of my hardest to lose.  I never think of her without tears.  I don't know why it's so different with her, but it just was/is.  She would turn 8 this October.  I can't believe it's been so many years.  For her the love of those around me was so incredibly strong, they pulled me through it.  They made her burial dress, they loved me through my grief, they stood by me while I buried my daughter.  Next in my eternal family is Samuel Lynn and his twin.  His twin was just a normal miscarriage we thought, that is until we went in becasue I couldn't stop bleeding and found that I was still pregnant.  Trying to keep my Sam alive inside me was a fight every day.  Eventually his body just couldn't do it anymore.  He was born on my brother in law Sam's birthday.  We actually didn't realize that when we named him Sam.  He would be 7 this year.  But I had so much more peace with his death.  His body had so many things wrong with it to know he would not be suffering and in pain brought me much peace.  Not to mention so many tender mercies were shown to me, that the love I felt from my heavenly was so strong as I dealt with his death.  It was hard to let go of the thought of more children after losing him, but I felt at peace to just deal with his death for quite a while.  Then we felt we needed one more.  The last to mention was Ellie's twin.  Again we did not name her.  But I love the peace I feel when I think of my sweet eternal family.  I know we will all be together again if we do what we should in this life.  I am so grateful to know I have some children already living with their heavenly father.  What a great blessing that is in my life.

R is for Redeemer.  At this Easter time, he is the rock of all of this that I have spoken about.  He is the reason for all those other blessings above.  I am so grateful for his love.  To know that he sacrificed for me.  Learning to apply his atonement to my life is what has given me the strength and ability to repent of my sins, forgive those who wronged me, forgive myself of my mistakes, and deal with the the heartache and pain that has been a part of my life.  He is my joy, he brings me the peace I need to live day to day.  He brings me the hope to continue on when days are tough.  I love him so much and words can't describe how eternally grateful I am for him.  It is through him that I know Everyone will be All together.  It is because of him I have the Sacrament to partake of.  It is my Testimony of him that guides my life.  It is because of my Redeemer my family is Eternal. 

So this Easter Season, take a moment and think of your savior and what he means in your life.  I am so grateful for the time I have taken to think of him and all he means to me.