Saying good bye is never easy to do

I have been a board member for STYSA for several years now.  I have loved it!  It has gotten a bit consuming at times...especially if you ask my family.  But I love the business it provides in my life.  I love that becuase my husband is blessed where his job is concerned I don't have to do a job that earns money.  I can volunteer my time to something I love and believe in.  This soccer league has been that for me.  But due to some political asperiations of others I have left the league.  This was one of the hardest things I have done in a long time.  I am not necessarily sad to not be on the board anymore.  I am sad for the friends and people that I will  not be spending so much time with.  I'm feeling a little lost on what I'm supposed to do with this time.  Don't get me wrong, I know there are plenty of things I can and will do with my time.  I just have done this for so long it just feels like a part of me is missing not doing it.  I will leave it in "stages"  I just can't quit cold turkey.  In some ways it would serve them right to just leave them all screwed and picking up their own messes.  But it's the kids who would suffer.  I don't want to do that to  them.  So I helped finish up the prep work for the tournament and will help a little getting the spring season going, but mostly will leave them to having it be a mess.  (It already is).  It's hard to leave it like this.  But if I don't those who are trying to change something I love into something else won't learn their lesson.  I know I can walk away from things with my head held high.  I went out and tried to get word out of what was happening, but no one seemed to think it was a big deal.  It was.  I was let down by a lot of people, at the same time there are some great people out there who said some wonderful things to me on my way out about how sad they thought this all was.  I did a lot of good.  I know that.  I also know that there are others who can and my good can be used in other areas.  But I will miss the time with my soccer mom friends.  It was put to me in a really great analogy.  It was said, "Isn't going through a divorce tough?  You know you are better off not being with that person now that htey have betrayed your trust and won't be that person you once fell in love with.  But your heart still breaks that they aren't willing to stand up for what once was and be that person.  If they could be that person maybe you wouldn't have to walk away.  But their choice was made and in so doing you are making the best choice for you."  It really is the way I feel about leaving soccer this way.  It's the future I see for something I once loved and believed in that breaks my heart.  But I have to walk away and not let it tear me down in the process.  Hope all that made sense.  It does in my head but you never know if it does in person or not.