I'm not really a concert person

So I have thought about writing a post about a concert John took me to several times. Had I done it when I first intended to, it would be a very different post. Not sure if that is a good thing or not. But, I'm not really a concert person. I've pondered that a lot in thinking about this concert and why it affected me so differently. I think there are many reasons. First, for whatever reasons due to issues I had with myself and my self-esteem as a teenager I went from a person who loved to sing, took piano lessons, and would go to any concert I could. I have always loved country music, in fact the first concert I ever went to was Randy Travis with my mom. I loved it! But I also loved to go to temple square and any other place that anyone was singing or playing music of any kind. Then, like I said due to some issues, I didn't feel like I could sing/or play music, and didn't want to attend something I couldn't do myself. Looking back I think it hurt to go when I didn't feel like I could do.

Over the years I have become more comfortable with myself as a person and my role in my life. (Not sure if that makes sense to you but it does to me). I had an amazing ward choir director who I still keep in touch with his wife. Brother Wheeler taught me that in spite of what the voice lesson teacher told me all those years ago, I can sing. He inspired in me a confidence to show up and sing whether it sounded good or not. That wasn't what mattered. Now don't get me wrong, I still am not confident in my ability to hit certain notes or to follow music in certain ways when I sing. But I'm willing to show up and try, knowing I will never get better unless I do. He had such a wonderful way of always making it about just singing, no matter our skills. We'd always be working on several songs for a bigger number in church at the same time working on very simple ones we could just pick up and sing the next week as needed. For me it was what I needed.

Since then I have mostly stayed active in ward choirs. I have NO desire to sing in any small groups, in fact I REALLY struggle with our ward choir right now as there are NOT enough people for me to feel like I can sing. But I am trying to continue going becuase I know that I am the one most blessed by my attendance. But still through all of this the desire to spend money on going to a concert of any kind has just felt like a waste of money. I know music "speaks" to many but that typically isn't me. I'm okay with that, I've learned that about myself and am content with the fact we all are touched by the spirit in different ways. Now don't get me wrong, it's not that an amazing number hasn't touched me, the simple solos of a man singing do more than any others. Just as a whole singing hymns, singing primary songs, listening to others sing them more often than not for me it's just a pretty song. (I know I'm speaking pure blasphemy to some but that is the honest truth for me.) On another tangent before I get back to my point, due to some courage shown by others I am working to teach myself piano again. I have NEVER really played more than one hand of a song. My brain really can't figure out the left hand. But I'm trying to follow the example of a great friend and build a talent that doesn't come naturally to me.

Back to my point, so a friend of mine was performing in a concernt. She had invited me to prior concerts but as expressed above there are SOOO many things I value more than this in my life that I've always refused. Well, this time my feelings on going were pretty much the same. But I sent John the info and said if you would like to go then get us tickets if not no big deal. Well, he has really been changing what he listens to and such and really wanted to go to the concert. He bought tickets and we went. Honestly, (and I don't mean to hurt or offend), but I really was pretty indifferent to us going. I knew John wanted to go and was excited about a nice date with him, and I knew it was a big deal to my friend for me to be there to support her and was grateful that I could do it for her but I wasn't really going for myself.

But when we got there and the music started, well it was one of the most amazing concerts I have ever been to in my life. I loved the theme, Patriotic music gets me, much more than Christmas or other themes. They sang so many of my favorite patriotic songs. It was a full orchestra. Some numbers not only had a full adult choir, but also a youth choir and a children's choir. I bawled through the concert. Another perk being a country music fan was that Collin Raye sang at the concert many songs. He also sang "love me" and "One boy, one girl" backed by a full orchestra. That was so incredible.

I don't always stand when they ask people who served in the armed services to stand as I didn't serve war time and I feel like it's just showy of me. But I knew she was looking for me and thought if I stood when they asked for all those who served in the Army to stand she would see me. They and the audience sang the Army song (along with each of the other armed services songs). Seriously, I don't know words that can describe the pride I felt for belonging to the USA as I did at that moment. I know it's cliche but I truely am proud to be an American and loved the feel that those songs bring into my heart.

I loved the concert and the excitement it brought for me in getting ready for the upcoming fourth of july holiday. I love my country and can't wait to celebrate in the ways that are all together purely american to me with food, family and fireworks!