Good bye Brooke

I've struggled with this post. It's one I want to write and put out there, but at the same time I really don't. It means facing reality, and I like living in denial. It was so much easier to do before the new people moved into Brooke's house!
My other area I struggle with this post is not having it sound like some sort of eulogy. She didn't die, she just moved far, far away, or not having me sound like a really bad person.

So as I look back over the time I've known Brooke it's kind of funny. I've lived in this house for close to 8 yrs if I did the math right. We've had 6 RS presidents that I can think of since we've lived here. I know about 5 years ago when Brooke moved into the ward I was firmly established with a group of ladies that had similar interests and ages of kids. I had been struggling with some losses through those early years of Brooke living near me and had turned to those who I felt super safe with to help me through that. I had always thought it a strange thing that my closest friends were not the ones who lived closest to me. I have quite a few ward members who live just a few houses away from me and they are friends who I am blessed to know in my life. But the type of friends they are is so different. Living here my friends who I turn to for anything and everything, spend many long hours a day as a stay at home mom with have not typically been my neighbors so close. We've just been in different stages of life and things and through visiting teaching and other things like that I have gotten to know some incredibly amazing women who were what I needed to help me through those times and it didn't matter that they lived at time "clear on the other side of the ward" (that's a joke since our ward is like a mile square). So, when Brooke moved in I was comfortable and she was not in my comfort zone. She was this high fashion gal always totally put together who immediately after moving in had so many close friends we were just more peripheral friends. I honestly remember how intimidated I was by her. She really is a woman who is so comfortable in herself, she loves style and clothes, she decorates her house having it totally put together, she was RS president while she was pregnant and having a newborn, giving her 3 boys under the age of 4, she always has make up on, loves to work out, loves to cook super fancy salads and other things like fish. I mean how am I supposed to connect with that? When I first looked at her all I saw in myself was a woman who didn't care about makeup, hated to shop because it reminded me how I had NO money to do so, never really decorates her house, isn't the best at keeping it clean, has kids much more spread out and was struggling to add another child to our family, loves greasy fast food and soda, hates to work out, though I love to be crafty, I've always felt dowdy because of it.

See this is why I've struggled with this post, sometimes taking an honest look at yourself can be a bit painful. So onto more painful introspection. When she was called to be RS president I was super judgmental, I mean how could someone that put together in those ways be able to be a classical RS president like I had always known and envisioned and felt comfortable with. But I decided that I needed to gain a testimony for myself about this since I was really struggling with this. (I know really putting my bad side out, please don't be offended just keep reading as you read how I was humbled okay?). So after some complaining and such I turned to prayer, the right thing to do finally and asked for myself if/how I could support Sister Romney in this calling. As I received a testimony that she was supposed to be there and it was me that was in the wrong I was hugely humbled. First the Lord taught me that we don't have to be the same to serve the Lord. This helped me to come out of my shell in some ways and feel more comfortable exploring other parts of myself. I really am grateful for that. It also showed me that I was more struggling with myself and comparing myself to her never measuring up. I was no less loved by the lord because I couldn't hold a calling while pregnant and she was RS president. The Lord knew and understood each of us. I needed to be okay with myself. As I did this I came to respect her and Mike more and more. But I don't think I'd still have called her one of my closest friends at that point in my life and I was okay with that. I had reached a point in my adult life where I realized that not everyone needed to be my best friend to be a friend. I know, how very grown up of me.

So as years pass and as friends moved away I came to need and naturally became closer to new friends. This is a great cycle the Lord has for us. My friends who moved are still great friends who I love to see whenever I can, but my needs for friends close to home was able to change. I also found during different seasons in life we need different friends more and the Lord in his great wisdom helps us have them in our lives if we are open to what he asks of us. So as I would sit at the park every afternoon I got to know her and became closer friends. We came to need things from each other and spend more and more time together. I finally joined bookclub and spent that time together.


But where I came to be so close was as we canned together, made laundry detergent and salsa together. She helped me shop for a dress that I was stressed about for my sisters wedding and at an amazing price. She taught me to look nicer doesn't have to take forever or cost a fortune. She taught me a lesson I really don't like...you have to try on lots and lots of clothes to find cute clothes that look great on you. But if you do that it really works. Many times she helped my kids with their homework as editing and writing is not my strength. She got me to workout with her several times. Still didn't like that but I'm doing it sometimes, a lot more than I used to. She opened my eyes to a lot of foods. Still hate fish but like a ton more salads. As we tried to branch out into eating more foods we got from bountiful baskets I could turn to her and most of the time she had a great recipe to try with it, and when we didn't well it was someone to give those things like butternut squash to and know it would get eaten. I loved how comfortable our relationship became as I could call her for things I forgot to buy like 6 pieces of bread early in the morning so kids could make their lunches before school. I knew I could borrow anything from her because she would return the call at times. It also has proved what a bad shopper I am how many times I don't have what I need. Thanks to Krinn, Debbie, Sariah, and Denise who have filled this need in my life a time or two also. I am so grateful for such great friends and these ladies have helped to fill a gap in my life left by Brooke leaving. Brooke was always out doing something, hanging out at the park during the day or after school, things I could and should do with my kids but would never do unless there was going to be someone else there with me. I miss that constant in my life. That missing will only get worse once kids are in school. Not to mention how many days I would just go drop in her house after dropping kids off at school. She never seemed to mind, and I loved just sitting and visiting. She would likely clean her kitchen or fold her laundry and we'd just chat. It was sooo comfortable. I've only had a couple of friends that things have connected to that level of comfort and in the past I have always moved away from them, this is the first time one has moved away from me...it stinks!!!


So as it got closer and closer to the big day we went to a bbq to a friend threw to say goodbye. Then we did a lunch at Joe's Farm Grill for a smaller group of ladies to say good-bye. It was so nice. But mostly I spent as many hours over there as I could helping her box up her house so I could hang out with her just a few more minutes. I've loved that since she's moved she has proven to be that amazing friend who takes the time to call the friends she's moved away from, unlike me. So here is the end of my eulogy and will stop pointing out my faults. I miss Brooke more than I ever imagined I would. Thanks for being that amazing friend to me that was just what I needed when I needed it. You are amazing and it's just not the same without you.


We'll end with a few pics of how cute my daughter was at the luncheon. Gotta love her!